IT’S TIME TO GO… GNOME
For those of you that have been following along the adventures of Season 3 of Sewvivor you’d all know by now that I was voted off the island this week.
I have been inundated with messages of condolence and support in the past 24 hours and it’s been totally mind blowing and overwhelming. I cannot thank you enough for believing in me.
I wanted to share with you a little insight into my Sewvivor experience so that you’ll (hopefully) understand where I’m at and how I’m processing everything that’s happened. (Be warned, this is a really long post…)
Here’s the skinny on my situation for those of you that don’t know me that well (just yet): I’m a stay-at-home Mum (on Maternity Leave) to a fabulous 2 year old boy. I’m married to a most wonderful man who works hard to provide for his family and supports us on his income alone. My primary focus is on raising our son – I fit everything else (the blog, the sewing, the Instagramming, the emails, volunteering with my quilt guild, etc.) in and around looking after my family (and I love it all!).
I have a personal rule that I don’t sew while our Son is awake and/or I’m his primary care giver. So this means that any sewing I do I do while he naps during the day (any where from an hour to 3 hours) and when HUBBY is home. We don’t send our son to daycare and we don’t have anyone come and babysit him – it’s all us, all the time (and we love it like that – it works for our family, it’s not a judgement call on what works for other families).
I also like to ensure that we spend time together when HUBBY gets home from work to keep our family happy and bonded. While I’ve been in Sewvivor I was sewing every minute I could when HUBBY was home so he could look after our son and run the house. (Some days I don’t even think he’d gotten through the front door and I was running down the hall to go to the sewing room!)
We live in a city that’s a plane trip away from any of our family and while we have amazing and fabulous friends in our city (who I know with all my heart would drop anything to help us if we needed it) we choose not to ask for assistance when it comes to our household commitments. (I really love helping others I just also really strongly dislike asking for help.)
So, while I’ve been in Sewvivor the rest of the family (the boys) have had to share the burden of the things that I dropped to be able to spend all my time sewing. (And given one of the boys is only 2 years old, it’s kind of all fallen on the shoulders of HUBBY.)
I’m a very fortunate lass to be married to a wonderfully supportive, understanding and accommodating man but I try not to take that for granted. I was really conscious of the burden that being in Sewvivor was putting on him.
He works really hard to support our family and provide our son with a Mother who’s at home with him and because of that I try to ensure that when HUBBY’s not at work he has time to unwind and enjoy his time with his family – Sewvivor wasn’t allowing that to happen and I don’t believe that to be fair.
I was also really acutely aware of all the other things I was letting slide (not to mention the financial cost of having to come up with the sewing projects – most of which I went through at least 2 versions of before hitting on the one I submitted) that HUBBY couldn’t help with (like the blog and being a good friend and daughter) and it was making me unhappy to not be able to do it all.
I tell you all this not so you’ll feel sorry for me, but I want you to understand why I may be feeling relieved not devastated. It’s important for me to get that across because I don’t want you to think that I wasn’t grateful, appreciative or thankful for the massive experience that I have been afforded by being in Sewvivor. Nor do I want you to feel like I didn’t value and cherish the support and encouragement that you’ve all given me.
When the results were announced I was relieved, not upset.
(Don’t get me wrong, the ego was like “Hello! I’m awesome, what’s wrong with you people!” but the head went “Get over yourself, you’ve got work to do now get on with it! And PS you’re not all that and a bag of chips so settle down Princess.”)
When I auditioned I never truly thought I’d get in – my quilt wasn’t even quilted by me. I just thought it would be a bit of a laugh to do a video for a change and have some fun.
You could have knocked me over with a feather (quilt) when I got in. After the excitement had worn off about making it in I had a complete freak out because I had no friggin’ clue what I was going to do. That panic never really left me.
After 3 weeks of panicked sewing and stress on our family I was ready to have my torch extinguished.
I feel so terrible saying that because I know there were people who auditioned (and even those that made it through the auditions) that would have killed to be where I was, but the reality for me was that I just couldn’t maintain the commitment to the competition that I wanted to give so I was happy to go out on a project that I was proud of.
I’m really proud of the quality of my work for Sewvivor. I’m proud that my work spoke to who I am and what my aesthetic is. I’m proud of the fact that I had to make my own way when it came to making the shopping trolley bag and I’m proud of the fact that I executed that vision. I’m proud of the way that I played the game. But most of all, I’m proud of the fact that I am living the life that I imagined for myself and that I am working towards my goals.
Sewvivor taught me so much, much more than I thought it would. It taught me a lot about myself, my creative process and it gave me so much more confidence in my own abilities and for that I will always be grateful to the people that voted me into the competition, and for the opportunity that you all gave me by supporting and encouraging me.
However, if I never sew another shopping trolley bag in my life I will be a very happy gnome.
The weirdest thing has happened since I found out on Friday that I hadn’t made it through the round… I’ve got my mojo back.
In the past 5 days I’ve managed to finish a quilt top I’ve had in the WIP pile for over a year. I’ve baked 3 cakes (and have written blog posts for 2 of them). I’ve spring cleaned parts of the house I’ve been avoiding for months. I’ve managed to get things lined up for the blog for the next couple of months. I’ve even managed to start working on Christmas gifts. Heck, I even managed to wash and fold the EIGHT loads of washing that had accumulated while I was hiding away sewing. (Don’t ask what we were doing for clean clothes…)
It’s freaky.
I’m positively giddy with excitement about all the possibilities I see before me. Now, it could just be that Spring is in the air… but I like to think it’s the massive kick in the pants that being forced to sew 2 projects in 3 weeks has given me.
I don’t really know what will come of all of the crazy that has been Sewvivor, but I’m really looking forward to it. I’m looking forward to getting to know better the amazing new people that Sewvivor brought into my life and I’m really looking forward to taking the lessons I’ve learned through this experience and seeing how they influence my journey.
Most of all, I’m looking forward to more time with my little family. They are the most important thing in the world to me and without them my life would be darkness.
To all of you that supported me through this adventure I’d like to say thank you for your support, thank you for your encouragement and thank you for your faith in me. It has given me an abundance of sunshine in my soul (and made me really friggin sappy it seems).
This is a great post! I love that your family comes first. Sometimes you just can’t do everything 🙂
Well, you know what I think! I still call #horseshit on you being voted out, but I call #hoorah that you are happy! xx
Angie, I was sad to see you voted out, but with your positive attitude and renewed sense of creativity it will be exciting to see what you make next!
Thanks Glenni – I’m excited to see what the future brings as well! 🙂
You are awesome. I love your honesty and openness. I thought you’d win sewvivor – in my eyes you deserved to. I admire your family first attitude…no sewing when little man is awake is admirable. Wish I could say the same. You have done so much in your limited time….along with sewvivor, you had exhibition sewing and SeabreezeQAL. You are awesome…..proud to call you a friend!
Thanks Jo – I think you’re awesome too! It’s just what works for us – I might not sew while he’s awake but I certainly try and squeeze in some other tasks while he’s occupied with play. Can’t wait to catch up and hear about your adventures!
what a great competitor you were, be proud I particularly thought the granny bag was an inspiration can you tell me what you had in mind for the hexies round?
LOL – I’d love to, but I had no idea! I have a couple of hexie projects in the works that I’ll be sharing over the coming weeks though.
Congratulations on getting through as far as you did – not that you couldn’t go further, because I was sure you would. I really loved your projects and was really proud to have someone from Canberra represented… I may feel a little like you were robbed! I love your words and the feeling of relief is something people often don’t talk about after a big experience! Thank you for your honesty and sharing it with us 🙂
Thanks Caroline! I don’t feel robbed and I’m quite looking forward to just watching from the sidelines – should be fun. 🙂
I just want to give you the HUGEST HUG!!!!!!!! Mwah xoxo
Awww thanks 🙂
Well I was sad to see you go, especially since you were such a wonderful cheerleader, but I can honestly say I totally get how you feel right now, and even though I was devastated (I’m over it now) I too have a renewed since of purpose and relief, and that is awesome! Can’t wait to see what the future has in store for you!
Thanks Marci – I feel the same, I can’t wait to see what you do! Rock on! 🙂
Wonderful, wonderful post Angie! I was sad to see you go but i definitely see how it would be a relief. I’m finding that is the hardest part of the competition, forget the popularity contest that brings in the votes. It’s the time away from family (and the totally dirty house!)that i’m struggling with! You made some seriously awesome bags and it’s been so fun getting to know you! I’m glad to have met you, and even more so to call you my friend!!
Thanks Nicole! I’m so glad to have met you and look forward to many more years of Dean jokes and watching your creativity soar! 🙂
It’s not your post that is awesome…. you are! well ok it is too. Lucky hubby I say, to know he is so appreciated.
Awww thanks! <3
Gosh, what a level-headed, great response. I’m so pleased that positive this have come out of of it; I’m sure they will continue to. Go girl!
Thanks Linden.
*high five*
I got my mojo back too and I only did one round! It’s such a relief to be freeeeeeee though don’t get me wrong I totally wanted to win, I’d have made myself a fabric crown and got too big for my boots though.
I still think you should make that fabric crown! 😉 🙂
Fantastic post Gnome 🙂
Thanks Gazza!
Awesome post.
Just wanted to say it’s been fun being introduced to your work and your personality through Sewvivor.
I felt that flash of relief, followed by renewed creative energy when I didn’t make it into the top 16 so I can only imagine how much more it would be after two challenges!
It’s sad I won’t get to see your work in Sewvivor anymore, but I’m so glad Sewvivor introduced me to you and the other contestants’ work, and made me join Instagram where I get daily inspiration from people like you.
Thanks so much! You’ll see more of it (probably too much of it) on Instagram and such. I’m really glad you’ve joined IG – it’s a great place to make friends, get inspired and have a laugh! 🙂
All my sewing is done when my girls are asleep too … I won’t get these days back with them, but there will always be hours in the future that I can sew. Good to hear your sewing mojo has come back 🙂
Exactly! Time is too fleeting. I already feel like I don’t give him enough of me without adding trying to sew into the mix. 🙂
Your work is amazing! Being a spectator, I enjoyed joining you for the #Sewvivor ride, via IG x
Thanks Anorina! I feel like watching how prolific you are that you’d just stroll through Sewvivor like it was a vacation 😉 🙂
Bravo!!
Any Mum would understand this post. My girls are now older so sewing is a little easier – but I’m still fitting it around part time work and a host of other things!!! Thanks for always posting an interesting read
Thanks Stephanie! Yep, there’ll always be something and I’m not special or any different to the millions of parents out there trying to find a balance and make it work. 🙂
You are awesome Angie. Fabulous post, very well written and expressed. Your Sewvivor projects were amazing, truly, and I’m sorry that the tribe spoke. BUT your family is more awesome and amazing, so here’s to all of you and for everything that comes next. Cat xx
Aww thanks Cat! 🙂
*hugs*
I understand perfectly, and while I was disappointed that you didn’t get through to the next round, I’m so glad you have time to spend with your family again!
Not to mention time to devote to organising a certain something-something! 😉
You did an amazing job Angie, and I always enjoy reading your blog. I understand what you’re saying about time with the family especially as your little fellow is still young. You need to enjoy this time with him as they grow up so fast these days!! I was a stay at home mum with my four and really enjoyed the time.
Thank you for you sharing your thoughts and your creative processes etc. I hope to get to meet you one day and all the other IGers we follow 🙂
Oh man, I have no idea how you’d do it with 4. Just the thought of adding another little amazing person to our family freaks me out – how would I balance it all! I’m in awe of the people that do it. Totally amazing!
I am so happy that I entered Sewvivior competition. Yes I didn’t even make to the first round lol, but thanks to Rach I started my own blog and have IG. I have met wonderful sewers,quilters-people. I started following you on IG and you have amazing talent ,lots to learn from. I can see that you are amazing mother -I do same thing with my 4 kids and good to know that I’m not crazy. And that shopping trolley was awsome. Go girl and keep inspiring us…
Wow – you have done some big things as well! You’ll be ready to enter the next season! 🙂 Not crazy, well if we are we’re in good company! 🙂
It was so interesting to see the viewpoint you have on the Sewvivor competition and your sewing life in general. You are a lucky girl to have your loving family. They are way more important than sewing and it is obvious you have your priorities in order. There will be plenty of time as your son grows older to devote to your artistic endeavors.
Thanks Barbara – I agree – you only get one go around and for me family is my number one priority – everything else is gravy. 🙂
You did such a great job. I loved all your projects. I have to tell you that before I saw your bag, I planned to make a naughtical bag with the same AH fabric you used! I even thought of the naughtical bit. Anyway, congratulations, glad I found you through the contest!
Thanks Sue – great minds! 😉 🙂
It is so interesting to hear from you guys what it actually feels like to be in the competition. When I am in the planning phase, I try really hard to put myself in your position and imagine what it would be like doing that much. I try and give people enough time to sew. Your feedback is extremely helpful! I’m so glad you are proud of your work. You are so dang awesome and I’m so glad I had the chance to meet you.
Thanks Rach – I think it’s a big ask for anyone and knowing what I’m like I would have left everything to the last minute any way if I’d had more time. The time difference meant that I spent a lot of time up late and then lost a day when it came to submitting a project, but it’s all part of the game and I wouldn’t change it for the world. I am so very thankful for everything and I had a blast. I’ll wear my Sewvivor badge with honor! 🙂
Angie I loved reading this post so much. It’s great to read and feel the vibe behind the scenes, and its even more awesome when we do something in our lives that turns out to be a stepping stone and reminder of where we’re at. I can feel the happy mojo in your voice!.
Thanks Bell! I’m really excited (might be the onset of Spring) and I can’t wait to share – got some amazing things happening! 🙂
Thank you for your honesty. I’ve read the blogs of the other competitors and wondered how they carried on with family life when the sewvivor projects seemed all consuming. I think you’ve got a very realistic take on things – grateful for the experience, but happy to return to normal life now that it’s over.
I do think the warmer weather helps too – I’ve certainly got more energy this week and might even do the vacuuming soon! (after a bit more sewing first)
Steady on Wendy – warm weather is one thing but vacuuming is a whole other kettle of fish! Gotta pace yourself 😉 Thanks – this is just our story, everyone has a different experience and a way of coping with life. I’m very grateful for everything and wouldn’t have changed it for the world!
I totally freaked out after I auditioned because if I had made it in I would be having a baby by c-section in the middle of it if I made it past round 2. How was that going to work? I would have had to “sew ahead”. So I was relieved when I didn’t make it in. I totally understand what you are saying here. The prizes were too good to not give it a shot though. I am so happy I discovered you in Instagram and your blog! Glad you are happy and getting lots of stuff done. 🙂
Thanks Anita. Um, yeah having a baby would have been a total spanner in the works. LOL There’s always next season!!! 🙂
Oh Angie I am so proud of you. Your projects were amazing. We will definitely catch up and meet one day. You are so inspiring. I can’t think of anything better than to have a laugh with you. I admire your courage for entering in the first place. I thought of it for a whole 2 seconds and nerves got to me! Take care and enjoy your little family they grow up way too fast! :)♡♥
Thanks Lisa! I hope so – I think we’d have a great laugh together. He is definitely growing up too fast. 🙂
Your work was really pretty and wonderful. I’m glad you have gotten more productive after the elimination! There is always a silver lining… Go Angie!!!
Thanks Rosemarie 🙂
Your Sewvivor projects were amazing and it sounds like it was a great experience that worked out the best way possible. I look forward to seeing all the wonderful things it will inspire!
Thanks Johanna 🙂