WHEN NO NEWS REALLY IS BAD NEWS
For the past month HUBBY and I have been going through another round of IVF. Unlike the previous rounds we decided to keep this one on the down low and only let family and the inner circle in on what was going on. At times it’s been really difficult not having an outlet to talk about what’s happening and to share our experience in the way that I normally do, and in a way that brings me the most joy and calm.
On Tuesday last week we transferred the last of our frozen embryos. We had 3 left and only 2 survived the thaw and so 2 went back in the oven.
On Saturday we had our first blood test to check for pregnancy hormone (HcG). That test came back positive with a reading of 4.8. My levels were perfect and we were flabbergasted.
The run up to this cycle hasn’t been pretty. I’ve been angry, emotional, sick as a dog and just generally out of sorts with the world. I was already thinking about the next full stimulation cycle that we would be embarking on having completely written off this round as ever working. To get that result blew me out of the water. Seriously, nothing can prepare you for getting that result. It’s like a ray of sunshine poking through the clouds.
We knew we weren’t out of the woods yet. We still had the test on Monday which would confirm if we were indeed pregnant.
I went for the blood test in the morning and then impatiently chewed my nails all day. At 2:30pm HUBBY came to my work and we sat in his car in the carpark and rang the clinic.
My HcG had more than doubled and was at 10.5. We’re pregnant!
I thought I was over the moon on Saturday, but to hear that and for it to be such a strong number we were ecstatic. Turns out all that weird smells, the soap taste in my mouth and the wanting to puke was actually paying off. We’re officially pregnant!
We told our inner circle and rejoiced that our prayers had been answered.
Because of the type of cycle I was on the clinic had advised me that I would need to come back for regular testing to ensure it was all going according to plan. It was still early days and anything could go “pear shaped” but we were cautiously optimistic.
Three days later and another blood test and we’re no longer cautiously optimistic we’re devastated. My blood test today has shown my levels dropping. It’s official we’re no longer viable.
To have come so close only to fall at the first hurdle seems like the cruelest thing of all.
So, that’s why the blog has been about homewares, bags and craft projects lately and hasn’t been about what’s been going on in our lives.
I don’t know where we’ll go from here. I have another blood test next week to confirm that the levels are dropping otherwise I’ll need surgery to clean everything out.
I just keep thinking that at least we have each other and there’s not much that’s better than that.
Congratulations!! What wonderful news hope everything stays perfect and that it all goes well for you and your family. xx
Thanks Pamela! The pregnancy went really well and we now have a 3yo son. 🙂 I accidentally hit republish on some older posts while I was working last night and so they’ve popped up in people’s feeds by mistake. Whoops! Clearly a sign I should have gone to bed at a decent hour last night! <3
So sorry.
Keep strong and get in touch!
Hey Angie, so sorry to read this! Things in life are so unfair & unbalanced sometimes. I wish you and your husband all the best and hope for positive news soon! XO Mitsy
Oh hun. Such a roller coaster *hug*
Nope they are not supposed to hang around for long at all. I have had the D&C and a shot of chemo to try and clear it up and it hasnt fixed it. And a MRI to check it all out.
So I took a break to try and see if nature could sort it out but no. So I back in blood test mode to check out my exact levels while the Dr and specalistes scratch their heads again
Oh Gnomie, big hugs and much love to both of you xxx
I’d been wondering how things were going. I’m so, so, sorry. Infertility is so difficult, and I was certainly hoping this time would be it. I wish I could give you a huge hug.
I know it is disappointing. But you have to think, at least you’ve been technically pregnant, right? That’s hope! I’m glad you’re going through with another cycle. I think if you didn’t keep trying that in the end you’d be disappointed you hadn’t continued. You’re getting closer each time!
I’ve been thinking about you and thought you had been quiet on the personal news front, and was hoping so much that there would be some positive news. I will continue to cross my fingers and toes for you in the coming months! I really admire your positive spirit, it can only help *big hug*
I am sorry it did then didn’t work. And I hope everything sorts itself out and you can try again soon.
My last cycle was similar to yours. It worked then it didn’t. I am 10 months on and still have hcg in my system. It is all a bit of a mess and an extremely long story that still has no ending.
Anyway. Take care of yourself.
xx
OMG how can that be? The clinic told me today that my level is at 4.75 and it needs to go below 3 before they’ll start the next cycle. They think it should, but I still have to have tests to check it. I didn’t even know it could stay around that long!
I stop the support drugs today so I’m hoping that will help trigger everything in to action so we can start our next cycle.
It’s just such a long road…
Darling heart, sorry doesn’t cut it but I truly am sorry to hear it. I wish your ride to parenthood wasn’t so bumpy. I wish it with every inch of my being. MUCH love to you both. Xxxxxx
Thanks Cat. It’s horrible, but I like to think of the story we’ll be able to tell our children about how very much we wanted them and how much trouble we went to to get them. 🙂
I am so very sorry for you. Sending love and good thoughts your way. I’m thinking of you.
Thanks Jacki. *hugs*
I’m so sorry, hun. I know you probably don’t want to hear from me right now, but I just want you to know that we had our share of horrible and devastating experiences before we got to where we are now. I’m so sorry that this has happened and I’m wishing you and hubby all the very very best for the future.
<3
Not at all. I take so much strength and courage from you and K. I know that if you guys can get your happy ending we can too.
We’ve shed our tears today and we’ve got our plan to get on with the next cycle. Now it’s just a matter of waiting for nature to take it’s course and then getting back on the horse. (Hello Vicar!)
Thank you so much for your support and love it means the world to both of us. Thank you!